For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend

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In ihrem Gedicht “For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend” spricht die afroamerikanische Feministin Pat Parker über Wünsche und Forderungen an potentielle weiße Freund*innen. Die ersten beiden Verse aus dem Gedicht (“The first thing you do is to forget that i’m black. Second, you must never forget that i’m black.”) werden häufig zitiert um deutlich zu machen, dass weder ein totaler Fokus oder gar eine Festschreibung auf Schwarzsein noch eine Leugnung der damit einhergehenden Erfahrungen und Perspektiven die Grundlage einer Freundschaft/Partnerschaft/Zusammenarbeit sein können, sondern weiße Menschen vielmehr immer wieder situationsabhängig abwägen müssen, welche Rolle Schwarzsein und Weißsein für die aktuelle Situation spielen.

Pat Parker 1978: Movement in Black: The Collected Poetry of Pat Parker, 1961-1978. New York: Diana Press.

For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend

The first thing you do is to forget that i’m black.
Second, you must never forget that i’m black.

You should be able to dig Aretha,
but don’t play her every time i come over.
And if you decide to play Beethoven – don’t tell me
his life story. They make us take music appreciation too.

Eat soul food if you like it, but don’t expect me
to locate your restaurants
or cook it for you.

And if some Black person insults you,
mugs you, rapes your sister, rapes you,
rips your house or is just being an ass-
please, do not apologize to me
for wanting to do them bodily harm.
It makes me wonder if you’re foolish.

And even if you really believe Blacks are better lovers than
Whites- don’t tell me. I start thinking of charging stud fees.

In other words- if you really want to be my friend – don’t
make a labor of it. I’m lazy. Remember.

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